melicacy

i bet my mom thinks i’m so outdated and socially disconnected that she decided to get an iphone for me :S
but really, i rarely use phones so i thought it was pretty unnecessary of her to get me a new phone but it certainly is serving me well
kept me occupied the entire day at work! i was slacking and downloading apps and playing games the entire day :X
i feel like jailbreaking it to download stuff that ain’t free but if i jailbreak it i won’t be able to download anything from itunes store? idk i’m still a noob, enlighten me if you would.

with the iphone i shall tweet more and post more pictorial updates!

my first birthday present (:
loveeee it! <3
but most of all i really appreciate the thought of wanting to get me something.. so touched (:

her cheerfulness is contagious!
and even if i’m in the worse mood i’d always make sure i try my best not to affect her because i can’t afford to make her lose that smile (:

i think this friendship is the best birthday present already (: (:

1 more hour 1 more hour 1 more hour 1 more hour 1 more hour 1 more hour 1 more hour 1 more hour 1 more hour 1 more hour 1 more hour 1 more hour 1 more hour 1 more hour 1 more hour 1 more hour 1 more hour

1 more hour 1 more hour 1 more hour 1 more hour 1 more hour 1 more hour 1 more hour 1 more hour 1 more hour 1 more hour 1 more hour 1 more hour 1 more hour 1 more hour 1 more hour 1 more hour 1 more hour

the colleagues at other departments are sooo much nicer ):
everywhere else is better than where i am right now.

1 more hour 1 more hour 1 more hour 1 more hour 1 more hour 1 more hour 1 more hour 1 more hour 1 more hour 1 more hour 1 more hour 1 more hour 1 more hour 1 more hour 1 more hour 1 more hour 1 more hour

my boss was talking to another colleague asking to get some drawings done so he can get us INTERNS to work on it AT LOW COST.
was asked to “report” everyday before leaving the office and yesterday when i told him i’m going off he even asked if i can finish my work by friday (HINTING THAT I SHOULD OT TO MEET THE DEADLINE) when i already told him i can’t finish it because time was wasted getting autocad RE-INSTALLED. they should extend the deadline but instead, i was told we have to finish by 4pm today WHICH I TOTALLY WON”T ABIDE BY BECAUSE ITS NOT MY FRIGGIN FAULT TO BEGIN WITH.

i’m a pretty fast worker, whoever’s worked with me know i always get my stuff done quickly and over with.
now i’m taking my own bloody sweet time on purpose because whatever you’re paying us its been made full use of TOTALLY. and i don’t want to finish it early and you’ll think i’m idling because i have nothing to do and then pile on more work.
thank god its finally friday really.

on a lighter note, yesterday evening was spent slacking at a cozy area on another level (privileges of getting assigned to measure other levels, we can “disappear” and still be thought of as doing work :D)
that secret spot had a cozy couch and comfy huge pillow and peace and silence, away from the dreadful level 3 that we’re on :)

I”M GOING TO BE AS SLACK AS I CAN POSSIBLY BE.

7 more weeks.

woahhhh my first salary in… YEARS!
its a pathetic amount but whatever the pay is money is never enough anyway. LOL even if i get 5k its still never enough. so whatever amount doesnt matter.
just wana get this internship done and over with! (AND NEVER WANNA WORK IN THE NEAR FUTURE LIKE GIVE ME 5 YEARS TO RECOVER FROM THIS NIGHTMARE!)

2 more friggin months!!!!!
CAN”T WAIT.

the only stuffs that’re keeping me going: lili & FOOD!
other than that i can’t wait to get outta this hell

the cold’s making me angsty & irritable and i have no mood to do anything but stone & freeze.

i’m wearing 2 thick layers now and i’m still cold ):

brought my sheepy to work today but ain’t helping much with the cold ):

i just want today to be over like NOWWWWWWW
AND FRIDAY TO COME ):

i cried this morning before work when my mom TRIED to encourage/console me. (but failed of course, knowing the pessimist in me)
and i’m trying so hard to keep my tears in right now as i’m typing this ):
i hate being in this “outside world” where i have to consider the feelings of others and have people bossing me around. this internship’s making me abhor working life so much i’m scared shit to ever start working when i’m older.
and makes me feel like cooping myself at home even more on off-days, just to avoid facing the “outside world”
the only time i like going out is during breaks when we go out to buy food.

my mom tried consoling me saying that i don’t have to start work so quickly after schooling but i can’t avoid it forever???????? i’ll turn 30 soon ):
maybe when the time comes when i have to start work i’ll just commit suicide.

i’m super cynical & suicidal right now ):
i have tears on my sheepy.
hate being a crybaby but how does one control tears???? i really need to master that. i cry too easily ):

offended a colleague because of my blunt replies.
i guess anyone would be offended by the way i speak unless they understand my character :S

kept hurting myself when using the measuring tape

“scolded” by someone in charge of checking our work because i produced incomplete and slipshod work

black faces in the office esp from the boss (i’m sensing some hostility)

back at home,
burnt by oil splatters when frying chicken (again) second time in 2 weeks ):<

another weird ulcer under my tongue (2nd time this week)
it’s not the usual white-ish ulcer but its blood-ish. the previous one was in a bubble which i burst (LOTSA BLOOD) this time round its kinda flat but super uncomfortable and ain’t burstable (I TRIED) so it’s still here -_-”

when bad things happen they keep happening ):<

counting down again.
thank god its finally friday. but i don’t want monday to come ):

sigh why does labor day have to fall on a saturday ):

hokkien mee uncle’s closed thurs and fri, which means no hokkien for 4 days ):

bought wanton mee just now and aunty’s being super stingy about giving me more soup (LIKE WTF I”M NEVER PATRONIZING YOU EVER AGAIN)

tsk. i just flooded my twitter. maybe i just need a place to rant.

but i have a bad habit of deleting whatever i type so i’ve just deleted a whole page of rants here because i figure i don’t need the whole world to read about my pointless rants.

i can go on and on but i’ll just keep deleting them so..

fuck it this is a totally pointless post.

i’m just moody and angsty and cold and nasty and if my mom talks to me anytime soon i swear i’m gonna have a panic attack.
thank god she’s at the other side of singapore right now. but no thanks to god i’m at work.
i can’t wait for internship to be over. i hate my boss. i hate waking up early. i hate doing shit work.

okay before i delete everything again i’ll just publish this.

and add a picture to this senseless post reflecting my current state.

(update: 1pm)and a 5 min doodle because i didn’t feel like doing the assigned work & i was bored

(update: 3pm)

free fruits!

counting down: 3+ hours to go

(update: 5.30pm)
i’m not looking forward to tomorrow (onwards) because we have to move in to sit with the rest of the colleagues >:(
fucking ruined my mood. i’m gonna hate working even more now.
the aircon inside’s gonna be so much colder and the seats less comfy and with so many eyes watching there’s prolly less opportunity to slack.
(i just woke up from an hour’s nap btw :X)
hownowbrowncow i wanna think of excuses to move back :(((((((((((
i hate my boss i hate my boss i hate my boss.

and we went to anchorpoint just now :D
the shoppaholics in us couldn’t resist buying stuff, and so we got ourselves new apparels from fox (:
then bought my usual nom noms & my favorite hokkien mee
i <3 uncle and uncle <3 me! he’s so adorable and he remembers my preferences like $4 w/o sotong and more meat <3

counting down religiously every single day/hour/week
now i’m counting down to 6.30pm and every monday i’ll count down to friday and i just can’t wait for 26 June to come ):
i dislike my miser boss.

bought this little thing @ ikea for only 0.90cents!! :P <3

slacking away as usual (whenever possible)

plus sides about working:
-workplace is like less than 10 mins walk to ikea <3
-awesome classmate attached to the same company :D
-hawker food here’s awesome! some stuff i always buy: curry puffs, mee siam, mee rebus, fried hokkien mee, fried oyster omelette, paus (buns), etc etc i look forward to buying food every single day! <3
-and my mom gives me more money ever since i started working :D

but the down sides… countless.

I TOTALLY HATE TRAFFIC JAMS. on a bad/rainy day, we’d take like an hour to drive back LIKE WTF RIGHT. it’s already far enough and the jam totally makes me hate the location even more.

work’s draining & sucking all that energy in me as i’m counting the days till the end of attachment - 26 June. ):
-counting down to 6.30pm everyday
-hoping that there’ll be no assignment given so i can slack the day away
-going out to buy food to get a break from the stressful environment
-hiding in the toilet & slack when the aircon’s freezing cold

now i’m extremely certain that i’m not ready for working life (and i don’t know when i’ll ever be)
i hate being asked to do work ): especially by colleagues around my age. basically i hate being asked to do stuff -_-” and if its not what they expect i’ve to re-do according to their preferences I”LL BE SUPER PISSEDDDDDDDDDD i guess i’m just too pampered but whatever.
and i hate to abide by the rules (but here its not so bad because there’s no fixed timing for lunch breaks, can go anytime just have to be back in about an hr)

i’m such a slacker ): i can’t relate to majority who’d rather be asked to do work, like they actually complain when they have no work to do -_-”
OMG i’d so rather stone the day away than be piled up with stuff to do ):
but i guess that’s just me

and i don’t like this company because my miser boss makes full use of us cheap labour and makes sure he gets his money well spent. if we finish our work he’d give us more work so we wouldn’t idle. we’re paid a miserable $460 and he still thinks we’re not doing enough to make his money well spent -_-” _|_

but i’m sooooo glad i’m not alone here, i don’t know how i’d survive without my classmate lili around with me!
26 JUNE, PLEASE COME SOONERRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!

searched my archive and Oct 2007 was the last time i ever worked.
the thought of stepping into the real world again scares me more than anything. this time it might even jeopardize my studies.
i’ll be having my attachment, a 9-6.30 job, all the way at queenstown area. (super inconvenient and i’ve never been around that part of singapore other than going to ikea)
i hate the thought of meeting the requirements of others because with requirement comes disappointment(s).
i don’t know how i’m going to get along with my boss/colleagues because given my character, it’s tough.
i risk offending anyone along the way due to my bluntness and straightforwardness and i have this megaphobia about people disliking me (yet i don’t wanna do anything to make myself more likable because I AM ME. plus i hate sucking up.)

hownowbrowncow
5 April - 26 June, time please FLY like a rocket because i want it to be over already ):

the plus side’s that i won’t be joining the company alone, so hopefully things would turn out okay

what you gave me wasn’t just a case of pretty colors of course.

but anyway, if you remembered what you said, “before you think i’m a crook or anything for proposing this to you, blaa blaa blaa…”
“you could always repay me by doing some work, blaa blaa blaa..”
so much for wanting to help me with my depression huh….. those words at the end were really unexpected.
but anyhows i’m thankful.

so,
thank you.

yours sincerely,
______your employee?___

i tried on this at first but didn’t have my size

so an alternative.

i keep trying on stuff at work!
then when i buy sth my whole day’s pay’s gone in a flash. omg kill me please. i wanted to save 2k and now the hopes are dimming.

my sis’s prolly in perth by now! and i miss her already.

customer #1:
walks in, utters some stuff in malay.
i stood there, bewildered, and stared:
huh! i’m not malay (laughs)
woman stared back in disbelief:
huh? really anot? don’t bluff lah
really! i’m chinese!
zen de mar??
zhern der!
wah you don’t look like chinese leh?
i’m chinese!
you mix chinese and malay?
. . . . . . . . .

customer #2:
walks in, browsed around, came to the counter, enquired bout some stuff, then after that she said:
wah you all look like sisters ah all look alike
(i was with 2 malay girls that time)
one of them said:
of course lah this shop our family open one
LOL.

(then i walked over to jackson’s shop to complain)
his colleague:
you really look like malay what
(NOT HELPING…………)

and mind you, i’m fair-skinned now (after not tanning for so long :S)
i hate the funky weather, like totally erratic it’s so hard to plan a day to go for a tan.

encounter at guardian@cityhall:
was looking around, indian lady came over:
hello are you looking for anything? can i help you?
me:
no its okay i’m just looking around (smiles)
wow you have really nice eyes what race are you?
urm i’m chinese
(eyes widened) Really??? You don’t look like chinese!

the weird thing’s that i didn’t get the “you look like malay” thing when i was tanned. i only get it when i’m fair. weird right.

okay i don’t wanna go on anymore.

i’m sucha slacker =P

oinks!

yes, finally i’ve gotten my hands on fisheye2 :D
thankew mr.lawrence! and thanks for him, there’s gonna be lots and lotsa pics on this blog. (:

@work:

with the pretttyyy jamie:

going crazy

metalteeth gone loony.

taaas.

but not on thursdays with “free parties”

okay before i start,

let me give alex a big SHOUT here :)

Dear Alex,

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR KIND DONATION! *hugs*

okay back to the mos topic.
omg la i didn’t even know there was ANOTHER tertiary fling until chelle msged me.
i was already planning to go mos since its a thursday. but. when i heard about it i was already thinking twice. :S

expected, twas sucky.
and i was dancing like a fugging retard cuz i’ve got no mood to dance at all :(
but thank god for the awesome company (:

gossipping with chelle’s totally entertaining.
especially gossiping about some “dump” person :D :D :D

very sad. i can’t smile prettily now :(

because..

I”M AN UGLYMETALTEETHED la duh. lol

wokay finishing off with an ugly pic of me with my newfound brudder.
LMAO.
taken at work.

kenji-san with his new hairdo :P

he totally looks 10 years younger with this makeover :D

omigosh i only slept 4 hours, and woke up at 9.30am, and… (i’ll update when i get pics :DDD) i had alot of fun though! thanks ricky :D
and then i went to meet chef.. i was like a half dead “nuaster” (that’s what chef calls me. grr) then starbucksing with chef made me fatty fat fat…
then went to work.
omg i was sooo not feeling well. and i spent 80% of my time at work munching on snacks. LMAO.
crystal is very cute. “i want to diet!!” “no, i dont want to eat, i want to diet!” awhile later… “uncle, i want to order nasi lemak and chicken wings” so cute :D

okay my day was like super packed.
supposed to head down to mos but was really tired and feeling horrible and chef urged me against it anyway. so yeah.. i’m home.

i can’t wait to go overseas (:
(keep postponing…. garhhh… i need money i need moneyyyyy *&@#^@()

backache backache.

i want my fisheye 2… sigh
):

urghh
had a small talk with my boss yesterday at work
she’s pretty nice.. she didn’t lecture me or anything during the talk.
she just said that with the looks, alot of customers would like me.. but i’m too quiet. just based on good looks i can’t get commission.
i don’t know if she said that just to make me talk more… coz i still feel inferior with them braces. and i know older men don’t like braces. and people in the sales line/PR line/beauty line should NEVER have braces. its a minus minus point. plus my speech isn’t as clear with those braces on. i really dont wanna talk :(
plus i have no confidence when i talk. even to friends. and sometimes when i talk i don’t even concentrate and i just wander off and don’t know what i’m talking about. fuckk.
and i seriously can’t find any topic to talk about to customers.
i should like get the “finding topics to talk about for the dummies” guide.
gahhh.

but i won’t regret putting them.
coz i want perfectly straight teeth. (:
i’ve been dragging since high school. wasted so much money on x-rays and moulds and x-rays and moulds and delaying and postponing and cancelling and whatnots.
i kinda regretted not doing it earlier though.
coz if i did it back then, i would have perfectly straight teeth now.
but then again…. extracting 6 teeth at a go would be too much for me to take.
oh wells.

PR? i’ve never thought it’d be the job for me.
i was never the sociable chatterbox
i always have difficulty finding something to talk about, unless that person and i have known each other for a long time, or that we have alot in common, or we’re close friends.
i was born shy, i was always the quiet girl. it was only until high school when i opened up more and got louder, but i’m still the quiet me inside, really.
i sense huge awkwardness when i’m alone with someone i ain’t close with.

not too long ago, i had some “entertaining business” to do, and he even said i could be a good PR.. :S rather dubious but i just smiled.

and now in my current job, i have lotsa PR to do, and i’m struggling big time. my boss isn’t pleased with my performance at all, because i keep quiet most of the time. i’ve seriously racked my brains and i still can’t think of what else to talk about. so i only try to find something stupid to talk about when i think my boss’s looking. :X
i seriously need to talk more, or else i’m gonna lose my job real soon.
and i’m already keeping a lookout on other jobs available :S

my wife and i at work (:
surprisingly, she turned out to be a better talker than i am!
but its only because of money.
i’m pathetic.