melicacy

so i finally dug out my toy cams and decided the finish the roll to develop them before they rot LOL

the pictures below are probably a year ago or sth i don’t even remember taking some of them

and… the first shot on this roll was:

this was taken in YEAR 1 SEMESTER 1!!! with Mr Woo’s model-making “ice-cream” thing that i did!!!!! omg that was like more than a year ago!!!!

whom i meet only once a year, for barely 2 hours each visit. (lunar new year visiting)
this year, twice, only because i have to interview an old folk for a school project.
i truly am guilty, and ashamed.

random stuff i found out about her:
she is more easy-going than i thought she would be
she’s been hospitalized before, 5 years ago (and i didn’t even know)
she has many friends and loves hanging out
she speaks malay better than mandarin
she has to take lots of medication everyday to sustain her life
she goes to malaysia for short trips with her friends
she doesn’t miss her granddaughter (me) a lot or yearn to see me/spend time with me that much
she dotes on her grandsons a lot, probably because she takes care of them since forever
my mom’s the one who gives her a lot of money and offers to sponsor her if she wants to travel around
my mom takes her out to restaurants for meals occasionally

it was.. awkward. but i’m glad i visited her (always wanted to but didn’t) because afterall she’s my grandmother and she’s old and… well yeah.

this is teddy, my childhood sweetheart

<3

love this childhood munchy!
old times old times..
new products come up, old products get forgotten..
some even cease to produce anymore…

yurh a good reminder to self. i should just move on. stop getting ’stuck’ in this fucking phase. i’m only doing myself all the harm that i do not need. hah but yeah easier said than done.

so i was looking through old files…….
so much memories..
so much changes…

then i had this folder.. ‘dear’

found……

i miss her so much…… :…(

:…(

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monday - went to mustafa after work again, this time round with my old friend from high school, wilfred!
spent like $80 this time round
i miss the old school days ):
must do moremore catching up.

toosday - met up with my 2 cousins!
been so long since i saw samantha, time flies, really! she’s married already, and has an awesome lookin apartment (i’m sooo jealous already!) saw her engagement video and photos, she’s soo prettyyyy!
crashed her tampines “chalet” but sharlene left early (we must have an all cousins outing soooon!!!! wish my sis was around i miss her so much)
i left around 6 in the morning
felt so bad imposing on her, disturbing her sleep and troubling her to drive out to macdonalds ):
i feel so lucky to have sucha nice cousin, she even bought me breakfast!
i can’t wait for our durian outing :D :D

it’s almost 10am and i’m still not asleep
there’s this thriller on cable about photographing the dead.
awesome flick

came across this picture while browsing through the old files i managed to retrieve (thanks to my mom who made me do backup CDs back then, in case those stupid viruses kick in)

anyway this picture reminds me alot.. so i decided to edit it (:

omg and i found so many old pics of myself too.
and those “graphics” i did back then. hahaha. suckerrrrrrr.

everyone grows up differently.. but we all grow up anyway.

i fell down so many times, it should’ve made me a stronger person.. but sometimes i just feel that i’m more vulnerable than ever.. like i’m gonna fall apart anytime..

guess what else i found.

what vexes me’s that i can’t remember why i was feeling that way.. is it my memory? or is it normal not to remember anything at all. /:
(these weren’t even THAT old.. prolly 2003-2004)

anyways, when i read my old primary school diary some time back, hand-written (of course), i was shocked to see what i wrote (i didn’t know those stuff happened, or that i could ever feel this way), but i could actually relate to them.. the feelings came back.. it feels weird….

nevermind. quite puzzling for an already-confused mind.

shall not think.

thinking makes me lost.

bahhh