melicacy

woah its been like a month since i’ve updated.
reason being: i rarely use my laptop, or rather, i rarely use any computers anymore! (i know there’s a computer in school but i’m rarely in school :P) i’m always surfing from my iphone thus i’m updating twitter alot more!

my laptop’s super dusty!

anyways i’ve injured my toe
so here’s the story
i was cutting stuff on the floor with the penknife and used too much force and in goes the penknife into my toe :S
i was like super freaked out and limped to the other side of the living room with blood dripping and flesh hanging :S :S :S i didn’t know it was that bad till i saw how my toe was split open and detached.
i grabbed tissues and pressed my toe to close the gap and then i didn’t dare let go anymore lest the toe splits open again :..(
i was super freaked out and scared and then i laid on the sofa from 2am till 5-ish? didn’t dare move i was just hoping it’ll get better and by pressing i was hoping it’d stop bleeding
5-ish i went up to shower (i bandaged the tissues with plaster so i don’t have to hold onto my toe)
after showering i wanted to change the tissue and i freaked out even more when i saw so much blood and part of that toe’s still detached. how silly of me to think that the toe would go back by itself -_-” i couldn’t think straight anyway i was so freaked out right
my maid saw the traces of blood in the living room then she heard me crying i think then she asked “are you cutting your hand again?”
omgz okay so now i’m this suicidal problem kid in her eyes.
okay then i just told her i injured my toe then she kinda helped advise me a bit (so she ain’t that bad afterall..)
she said if its still bleeding at 7 i should see a doctor
so i went to bed first (still holding my toe)
then i posted on facebook asking for advice
aiman’s superrrrrr nice! he called me immediately!
okay so after all the scary infection warning and amputation warning i freaked out even more!
i fell asleep for like 2 hours before my mom came into the room
my maid told her about my cut so my mom’s taking me to the doctor (she wanted to see the wound but i was freaking out i didn’t dare let go of the tissue lest my toe opens up again OMGz)
okay so i limped all the way to the clinic
(my mom’s supposed to be at work but she called to make arrangement to go later :/)
okay then at the clinic i was given priority to jump queue
the doctor seems like she’s all flustered cos i was like so freaked out.. lol
then my mom was hugging me and comforting me and saying prayers like (god will take away your pain or something and all that) while doc’s doing my wound
had 5 stiches
they’re like “you’re very brave blablabla” BUT HELLO???? WHAT CAN I DO RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!! i was crying in pain but i can’t ask them to stop right duhhhh
so my toe’s nicely bandaged

but it still bleeds at times

okay so 2 days later (just now) i went back for a follow-up. my dad brought me cos my mom’s gone to malaysia
and doc says my wound isn’t healing as well as she expected and i have to go a&e
she said i might have to cut the existing stitches and re-stitch (AND I BLOODY FREAKED OUT OKAY OMG that sounded so damn scary and i was like SUPERDUPER FREAKED.)
so she wrote a letter for the hospital and off i go to tan tock seng hospital.
paid $90 and waited 2 hours for consultation
and then they just brushed me off and say they can’t do anything for now because its not time to remove the stitches and then just cleaned up and re-bandaged my wound and ask me to go for a follow up in 3 days time.

flash kills but anyway the main focus is the thick chocolatey layer above the cake omgz I MISS DONUTS ALREADY
can i have F’onuts please. i mean.. fucking donuts.

and i must be drunk to post such an incredibly crappy picture of myself

i need more sleep.

i <\3 balsa wood.

1. they are expensive
2. they are long and pokey, i accidentally poked this girl while getting up the bus and she diao-ed me from the beginning of the journey till she got down.
3. i hate to touch them. wood feels gross.
4. i’ve got holes (cuts) on my fingers due to violent chopping of wood.
5. i am not a construction worker. i do not want to be building this #

i took 2 hours to finish this piece of crap.

i didn’t even bother planning what structure i’d end up with :/ just built as i went along.

school’s a chore.
i need a break ):

here’s sleepyhead me and dar dar during sleeping class ergonomics

(yeah i know i look like shit)

my attendance for design history is very much screwed up.
):

randomsss

things i like about school/going to school

-most lecturers here are nicer than any other lecturers who’ve taught me in the previous tertiary schools i’ve been to
-my dad’s around to help me ’store’ my huge projects in his office that i’m lazy to bring home
-most morning days my mom sends me to school (if she’s in sg), so i like going to school for that. sometimes she holds my hand while she drives, as though she knows i’m going to die soon

things i dislike about going to school

-the freezing aircon temperature which makes it unbearable to sit through the entire lesson. (makes me chant chant chant wanna go home wanna go home wanna go home)
-when my mom isn’t free/around to send me to school, i friggin dread walking to take a bus to school. and the friggin waiting time is so friggin long.
i hate walking the same few routes to/fro. fyi i already tried the different routes possible and i’m getting so sick and tired fucking shit.
-and i HATE it soooo sooooo much more waiting for the bus to get home. bloodyhell.

things that would make me go to school more:

-timetable with shorter days
-aircon temperature turned up (eco-friendly, conserve electricity and keep warm!)
-an apartment just across school
-or my mom to send me to school and back home everyday (dream on.)
-or a chauffeur

blah blah blah

eek, beware.
big face coming up

compact camera vs cellphone shot.

dropped my camera today ):
some playful people throwing cakes around >:(
sooo, jasper’s turned 21!
omg we are all getting oldddddd…
finally got to see grace and mango after sooooo longggggg..! missed them!
hmm. come to think of it. i haven’t gone out ever since holidays started, other than to the dentist and to buy food/groceries
i’m such a couch potato :/

sooo..
what’s the best way to start my day?

ice cream!! <3 <3

(school car ride pics)

look at my greedypig face chomping on square carrot cake!

nom nom nom

one more submission to holidays!
yay yay yay yay yay

ohh 1 more month before i get those metals off! (braces)

omgomgomgomgomg time flies!

omg so its kfc 4 days in a row!

i’m already so unhealthy w/o kfc, now i’m super especially unhealthy!

and financially-wise too.
($88 goneeeee)

so here’re my adorable classmates in hoodies (:

love chillin at the staff lounge! and i’ve got new company, chee kian (:
well minus the lunch-hour crowd though. middle-aged men making helluva noise playing games. not a very common scene, well for me at least.

skipped the last lesson on friday again.. damn i hated myself for doing that.. ended up sulking for the rest of the time at home. and spent even more money on food.

what am i to do with myself..
what am i to do..
sigh.

so vacation’s over..
all i’ve done was spend $50 a day on food.. not good..

back to school.. feeling zoned out.. totally disconnected.

moody..
moody..
moody..
moody..
moody..
moody..
moody..
moody..
moody..
moody..

well at least there’s my nasi bryani to look forward to..
(she still recognises me even after 2 weeks vacation!)

@ 12.45am

can’t sleep..

so my mom woke me up at 8.30am.

went for dental appointment.

hate my current braces colors (i picked them hastily.. now i totally regret it.)

went to cold storage at centrepoint

grocery shopped till 10-ish

brought the groceries back lest my ice cream melts

got back, rested, ate pau

mom drove me to hougang mall at 11.20

walked around while waiting for time to pass

headed to hougang plaza for suki sushi buffet :D

this time with hongwen!

had a good time catching up.

stayed from 12pm to 5pm.

then went to phoon huat to get my bubble tea supply

headed back to hougang mall

went ntuc after that to buy some stuff

went shoe shopping with him

went to valu$ shop to get my cheapo tidbits :P

credits to junhao’s powerful new handphone cameraaaaa.. (jealous much!)

(okay you can definitely tell which pics are from my lousy cellpphone and which are from junhao’s goody cellphone cameraaaaaaaaaa)

so vacation’s hereee…..
holla me if anyone wanna partyyyyy!!

sooo damn satisfied.
their creamy soups are heavenly. best ever.
plus their service was really good.

and i felt especially in luck today.

firstly, i didnt have to wait long for buses at all. they all came soon after i got to the bus stop!
secondly, jasper’s friend was working at sizzler’s! free coke :D
thirdly, potato chips were on sale at both ntuc and at some random store nearby!
bought a total of 12 bags home :D

i love sizzler i love sizzler i love sizzler i love sizzler i love sizzler
i love sizzler
i love sizzler
i love sizzler
i love sizzler

stoner.

what an unproductive week.
its by far the worst week ever since school started.
haven’t done a single assignment in the week, procrastinating and procrastinating..
just because there aint no deadline in the week doesn’t mean i should let everything pile up. now the coming week’s gonna be fatal. i have shittones of work piling up.
idling around, stressing myself up, eating and watching tv. all these ain’t gonna help me get my assignments done god dammit.
and i even skipped class on friday to go for suki sushi’s buffet.
ohohohomg sharlene’s damn spontaneous. i asked her like the super last minute in the morning if she wanted to go cus i saw her tag, and she really turned up! i thought i was gonna buffet alone again. really enjoyed the company :D

temper-wise, horrible.
been far more irritable, been losing it way too often.
i’m horrible horrible horrible and everyone should just stay away, lest my temper chase you away.

i hate myself for being such a brat, having my family give in to me all the time.
i’m so spoilt and i just let myself sink in further.
i hate not being able to control my emotions and pique.
i hate myself
i hate myself
i hate myself
i hate myself
i hate myself
i hate myself
i hate myself

in comparison with sakae sushi, suki sushi’s buffet definitely gets my vote. no doubt.
not only was their service better, there were so much more variety.
it costs only about 3 bucks more than sakae but sakae’s buffet hours were 2 hours lesser than suki’s.
3 bucks more but thrice the satisfaction.

best birthday gifts for this year.
i love my new flash action sampler <3
i finally own an underwater casing for my fisheye!!!!!

yay to my love for anything photog.

what i'm aiming to get: polaroid and pop9

i melt at the sight of cameras.
did i mention a classmate did a camera form for model-making class? <3
so damn seductive.

in case you were wondering what i made,

what a hectic week.
i almost gave in to the devil again today.
i hate myself for being so weak. so undetermined. so unmotivated.
coughed a teeny weensy bit of blood today during break.. but didnt mention to anyone about it, just kept whining about not feeling too good and wanting to go home
(though its really pretty common to hear me whining about going home)

ohhhh the muslim store lady recognises me, cus i buy nasi bryani from them everyday! she knows how i like my nasi bryani to be drenched in lots and lots of curry and i don’t even have to tell her what i want anymore :D

i love nasi bryani!

anyway i bought food from an illegal vendor for the first time today. couldn’t resist otahs (i’ve been having them almost everyday)
but her otahs taste weird.
never again.
shall continue patronizing the store near my place.
that auntie recognises me too :X
cus i always wipe out her spring rolls and carrot cakes, and occasionally curry puffs.
she doesnt even have to ask me how many spring rolls/carrot cakes i want anymore. she just takes everything she has left for me :D

yay for vesak day.
long weekend break, hopefully its enough to get me recharged.
i’m totally drained.

there goes another week of school..
why is it so goddamn hard to fight the urge to skip school.
this week’s been exceptionally hard.. but pulled through.. barely made it tho.

so i had my monday blues

tuesday was a breeze

wednesdays with larry’s, dreadful. especially the fact that he never ends on time. ever.

thursday was a tough fight.. i almost gave in to that devil in my head..
but thank god i made it to class..

and finally, i had the most horrible friday ever, so far.
i dreaded every single minute of the day.

i shrink from the thought of charcoal application. god dammit. nasty…
then on to the long breaks, with every single free minute, all that i have in mind was the contemplation of going home.
then to communication skills, which needs no elaboration on what a bore that subject is.
cept that twas a lil different today, cus we had a test, which totally sucked for me.

all i ever look forward to everyday was to go home after school and sink into my couch, stuffing my silly face with all the food that i bought home, and my tubs of ice cream.

i am still not sick of springrolls, carrot cake and curry puffs.
in addition, i’ve been having nasi lemak, nasi bryani and otahs.

i look like cookie monster

guess whattttttttttttttt!

my beloved springrolls :D :D :D

almost everyday is antarctica day.
used to be the inability to wake up for school. now the coldness puts me off more than anything.

this was what i wore few days ago (don’t mind the messy laundry my maid left around)

even two jackets wouldn’t suffice.

i was still so friggin cold.
i need to purchase winter-wear already.

but its funny how i’m so intimidated by the cold yet i still love ice cream so so much.

i bought a box of ice cream from that old uncle outside st gabs for $5.50! (haven’t seen him for 2 days already….. thursday due to rain, friday due to st gab’s early dismissal so he left early as well)

didnt come with a tub so i used an old tub.
he gave me lotsa free waffle biscuits!!! so nice of him :D

been stuffing my fat face with ice cream everyday without fail.

i miss ice cream uncle! i always look forward to buying from him everyday after school.

and now i’ve been loving springrolls so much i have to have them everyday! omgomgomgomgogmogmogmg

i like old people.

the uncle i see almost everyday yet i’ve never patronized him (due to the fact that the portion size’s really small)

but i finally bought from him, and i just found out he has mango flavor! omg its so damn nice.
if only i can find the tub version.
the guy selling mango ice cream tubs (illegally) at the mrt station hasn’t been there for a long time..
anyone knows where i can purchase them?

anyhoos, my $1 apple pies.

reasons why i haven’t been updating:
-no time (the all time usual excuse everyone gives)
-the state of my laptop turns me off
-the keyboard’s much more fucked up now that even more keys are malfunctioning
-maybe i’m just feeling way too miserable in my own miserable life that i can’t be bothered to update
-or maybe i just didn’t want anyone to know what’s going on.

what’s been going on since my last update
-nothing much, really.

on my mental calendar:
-xiany’s turned twenty (:
-paul’s turned twenty too!
-new school term
-loans to pay

what else i’ve been doing
-staying home, alot. (the only times i ever step out of the house is either when i’m not lazy to go to school, to the dentist, or to get more grocery)
-couch potato-ing
-still spending shitloads on grocery (daily consumption from $50 up to $100)

couch potato-ing,
-i always switch to disney channel for comfort
-i’m diggin that’s so raven (even though i’ve watched every single episode- they’re always on repeats)
-other stuff on disney channel i catch are totally spies, martin mystery, …
-currently hooked on channel 55’s dicey business
-other series i do watch on 55 are heaven-in-law’s, welcome to the house, ..
-i like small space big style; airs on mediacorp 5 everyday 11.30am (i hate it when i keep missing it)
-spongebob squarepants are repeating all the time but sometimes i just watch for comfort
-project runway (i miss it all the time too)
-and the random movies on hbo and star movies
-to sum it up, i’ve really been a mega lazy couch potato.

who have i been hanging out with:
-no one, for real. (apart from the people at home which i pretty much do not have a choice. else, i’d rather be loving the times alone)

what i’ve been gorging myself with on a daily basis these days:
-indulging in lots of ice cream; comfort food
-home made ‘pizzas’
-jars of kaya
-loafs of bread
-lots of butter

i find comfort in food. and i have to have something in my mouth as long as i’m on the tv, so basically i just eat all the time. food’s the only thing that makes me feel better. the only thing i can turn to. because thats the only thing my mom’s willing to give money for, so yeah. no retail therapy.
-and i bet your ass off that you are going to be happy to see this, that i have put on weight. lol. serve me right for never stopping when i’m full. you must be gloating now :p
but its okay, because i’m mostly home so you won’t get to spot me with my pregnant belly.

i seem to be getting worst at communication.
it’s pretty hard for me to engage in conversations, much less continue one. (not that i’m arrogant or stuck-up)
-i cant even communicate with my family anymore.
maybe i have been keeping myself away from people for way too long.
and i’ve never been one who makes eye contacts, much less now.
nowadays i just always have the shortest conversations because its hard for me to continue any conversation, as much as i wanted to.

things i ought to raise money for:
-funds for a short getaway trip
-olympus 850
-macbook air
-8mm peleng
(just to name a few)

anyway..
i might make my blog all private.. i don’t know…
shall see how things goes..
if i’m still comfortable with going public about my miserable life, posting amateur-ish pictures that don’t mean a thing, having people judge me, and stuff like that..
oh wells….

day before cny:
reunion dinner didnt feel like a reunion dinner at all.
mom wasn’t feeling well, didnt eat much, bathroom to and fro, then resting most of the time.
sis seemed unhappy for some reasons, i didn’t dare probe
so the only ones eating the most were me and my dad..
and even after my mom and sis stopped eating my dad and i were still feasting for hours.
but anyhows im glad im in better terms with my dad now.

then they each gave us red packets.
i gave them back this:

so..
cny updates:

my canon ixus is officially kaput. so there wont be any much picture updates, cept from my lousy cellphone and from the dslr which i’m forever lazy to upload and process.

the proper photos arent with me.. so here’s one accidental/probably candid for some of us from my cellphone:

so those are the females from my mom’s side of the family. i’m the blurred out one on the left because my dad doesnt know how to use my cellphone. my sis is at the back left, my mom’s seated near me in sleeveless brown dress.

then back home:

sorry for the lack of updates :P
been busy eating - alot!
haha :D

just some peekturess

so its my first visit to the one at tampines!

finally got myself more hangers (:

so now you can see the rubbish side of me againz

i miss bibi..

woke up early, and had a lot to eat.

lifestyle doesn’t feel the same without bibi anymore…

sigh.

so my dah-ling gracie and i hitched a ride from my mom’s car to mos after boozing away at my place!

donch care which club we go to, donch care hows the crowd, donch care how much booze, gracie and i always enjoy each other’s company! partying rocks as long as she’s around =D

and omg bumped into cyndee dee dee!!! i guess we all changed alot :D she couldn’t recognise me.. but anyway she’s still as adorable as ever ^^ i still remember she was one of the nicest in this little “clique” i was once with! <3

my last indining meal.

someone very holy said i take things for granted? that i was inconsiderate? that i don’t think of others feelings?
but helloooo, i’ve always had a maid at home, and she clears up the mess everytime i eat disgustingly. so why would i even bother about housekeeping maids when its their job. :\ even so i did make it a point to least clean up abit already so they wouldn’t have that hard a time. :s
anyway before i came i was promised that the hotel expenses will all be reimbursed, of course the first thing that came to my mind was make use of that :\
moreover who doesn’t know about my disgusting eating habits? everyone knows that.

but anyway my trip ended pretty well (:

(though i almost had a heart-attack, because i was running a little late, like one hour behind schedule!)

some pics on the way to the airport

i was so afraid of overweight luggage. i was in the queue.. and there’s this family at the next line. they were stopped for overweight luggage and couldn’t check-in unless they pay the hefty fine. (from sg to amsterdam per kg overweight is $77!!!) and they were not really THAT overweight, just a little!!!!

i was so freaking scared because i’m traveling alone, there’s no one to share the check-in weight with me..
then when it was my turn. greeted and exchanged smiles :) then one luggage down.
21kg. (1kg overweight already)
then i had one more bag to check-in because i had 3 more bags with me it’d be too heavy to handcarry so much :S
but i looked at the scale, then looked at him
“oh noo.. its overweight already.. :\ i guess i’m gonna have to handcarry so many stuff :\ (looking back at my trolley)”
then he peered over at my trolley
“oh no.. why do you have so many luggage??”
“ah.. they’re all clothes.. because i was here for quite a long stay..”
“you’re here for study?”
“yup..” (okay so i lied.. :X)
“okay i’m going to check-in one more for you, just the blue one, okay?”
“okay..! thank you soo much!!”

:D :D :D

and so.. i checked in 30kg (thats 10kg overweight! and business class weight limit :X)
the family queueing at the next line would be soooo hopping if they ever found out :X their daughter was like looking at me the whole time. don’t know if she’d complain to her parents or anything :X

i had 2 really heavy bags with me to hand-carry tho. so the parts where trolleys aren’t allowed, i almost died. lugged.. dragged.. carried.. dragged.. carried.. dragged.. (think i’ve gotten some muscles from carrying already.. LOL)

some pics at the duty-free shopping area from my ixus

(running abit late so the pictures were taken bit hastily.. teehee ^^)

i was having so much problems with my hand-carry bags at the no-trolleys zone :s

this was what i had with me :X

:X

bloody heavy okay! my laptop alone was heavy enough already :(

waitingggggggg

(pictures from cellphone and ixus)

then at the waiting area (boarding area), there was this really nice guy (he’s from indonesia- medan!) he came to ask me if i needed help to carry it onto the plane!
he was seated at another side though, so the air steward AND stewardess had to take over from him and help me bring to my seat :X
omg i felt so bad having so many people to help me :X

all-timez window seat for sure (:

sat next to a really nice dutch couple!

but damn, this flight’s got BABIES and KIDS. which means….. it wasn’t a peaceful ride. thank god they didn’t cry throughout the ENTIRE journey back though. 12 hour flight’s no joke!

photos in the plane’s bathroom :X

(I WAS SOOO BORED RIGHTTTTTTTT…. so pardonpardon me!)

so my flight to amsterdam was dark all the time, but my flight back was in the morning!! which means.. pretty pretty view ^^

dirty window, but pretty pretty skyyyyy

but.. i’ve always loved this view..

they make dark skies after that so worth it…

anyway when we landed, the indonesian guy came to where i was seating to help me bring out my bags!!!!!
omg. so damn nice :\
i didn’t know where he was seated though, because i didn’t see him at all throughout the whole 12 hour flight.
then while walking out the air stewardess was like saying to him “wow so many bags!” then i was like feeling so guilty because they were really heavy!

he had to transit to medan so i was by myself again.
had the help of aunties pressing lifts for me and a nice guy pushing a trolley over for me after i got my passport stamped ^^
then it was to duty free!
bought choya ^^
wanted to get baileys but had to choose between the two.. so choya it is!

man..
am i the only one who actually supports britney spears now?! haha.
because i bought another two bottles of her perfume.
gawd i suck.
y’know why?
because they were giving out this gift set of miniature britney perfume bottles and to get that gift you have to purchase two bottles of her perfumes. :\
i HAD to get my hands on the miniatures. so.. i wasted money :( i have no use for the extra bottle.. anyone wanna buy one from me? i’m selling the purple one. its duty-free so definitely cheaper than outside. its the larger bottle and $88, if anyone’s interested in taking over!
can buy from me to give to your friend for christmas ^_^ :X

okay i’m so broke already. boohoo :(

my parents came to fetch me (:

went home, ate like mad again ^_^
how i miss this feeling, sitting infront of the couch, stuffing my face. teehee.

plus the airplane food portion’s so bloody small. i was soooo deprived. during snacktime they asked if i wanted this or that or this or that (they had a basket of different snacks) and i asked if i could have a sandwich and a chocolate and they say SORRY NOPE ONLY ONE.. SO SAD CAN. but during mealtime i asked for extra bread they gave. that’s prolly the only food they’re generous about -____-”

my maid must hate having me back
because as usual i left a big mess at the couch :X
i bet the days when i was gone, the couch’s never been cleaner and neater!!!!!

my maid hates me. its official! ^^

and after eating so much hotel food, i figure i can’t bring myself to spend money on meals anymore. LOL
so its eat-at-home-all-the-time and make-do-with-whatever-there-is-at-home and no-more-spending-of-money-on-food already.
if you think you wanna fatten me up you could bring me to grocery shopping, buffet meals or buy me lots and lots of food ^_^

i <3 to eateateateateat~~~~~~~

brrr…